PICTURES!

 Silly little cabbage patch baby

 ISU Game With Farrell- Go BENGALS!

 Jaxson Scout honors/achievements 2012

 My little Leprechans

Catching Popping Popcorn in the Kitchen (a family home evening Fav!)

It...

Is it someone else?
Is it something else?
Perhaps a lack of identity within oneself?
How can one know, if they can't tell themselves?
I want to help- want to give of myself, but this problem's not mine.
I can't solve it alone.
How to help I still am not sure, but of this I'm certain-
I'll do what I must.
I'll never give up.
I'll do whatever it takes to help you rebound.
We need for you to be happy.
We love you so much.
Even if that means I must allow you to go.
No, it's not easy, it hurts more than I can admit
but I know I can't stand to see you suffer so.
I miss the spark in your eye, the laugh in your voice,
that special something that made everything alright.
It will be ok, whatever you pick.
We'll always be cheering for you, proud of all the great things that you'll do.
We're willing to do whatever it takes, to help you find you.
I hope you can find it. I hope it exists.
I hope you won't feel that there's something you've missed.
Let us know if there is help we can give, along this road you feel you must travel.
Please always remember you're loved- not simply by us but also by Father above.
You're never alone, in that you can trust.
He also can hear you and will help you find what you must.
I love you my darling.
Best wishes my dear.
I hope for you happiness year after year.
(Also when you find it, I'd love to hear.)

Sometimes...

Sometimes it's okay to not understand.
Sometimes it's not bad to be upset.
Sometimes things are not what they seem.
Sometimes people let us down, down so low we can't be found.
Sometimes its okay to not be brave, while the whole world's crashing down.
Eventually, I'm told, things will be ok, but it doesn't feel like that sometimes.
Today I don't like sometimes.
I yearn for other times when things were real and times were fun.
I miss the smiles, hate the tears.
Was it ever real?
For me it always was.
It feels as though it was for you too sometimes.
How will I ever know? The choice is not mine.
I don't know that I can ever understand.
Not this time.
We need you, and not just sometimes.

MUCH...

Much has happened since I've updated this blog and for now it cannot all be contained here. The thought of MUCH as a general principle is very much on my mind as of late.  Time changes so many things- kids grow/change, relationships grow/change, life presents challenges and joys. Heartache and devastation, Happiness and contentment- for better or worse everything changes with time.

In the scriptures we learn that time is fleeting and doesn't stay ('it came to pass...') we must live and love with our whole energies of spirit every hour of every day to make the most of this small window of mortality we are each individually granted. I am regularly amazed at how much one moment/action/choice can alter the entire outcome of our lives for better or for worse. I am astounded how much a person can have. I am amazed at the goodness of a loving Heavenly Father. I have learned we can't change others, only ourselves and pray for the rest- in faith, that things will work out- realizing the Lord has a plan and is mindful of our needs. I love the quote by President Hinckley about looking him self in the mirror and saying something to the extent of "it will be okay, it will all work out." I am grateful for how much we can learn from our living prophets and apostles and how the  Lord Guides them to lead us give the counsel we very much need to hear.

 I feel very blessed. We have been given so much. I'm grateful for the opportunities that change us and help us to grow. I'm grateful for the much love I feel for and from our families and friends. I ever grateful for the many joys motherhood has supplied me through the years. I'm grateful the Lord saw fit to bless us with 4 beautiful spirits that are filled with so much love and wise beyond their years. I pray everyday that I may be the mother they deserve. I pray that they will be strong and always trust in the Lord, especially when life feels hard. I pray that they will be able to feel how much we love them no matter what obstacles life throws our way. I should very much like to protect them- guard them from the harshness and pain of reality- keep them safe, young, innocent and confident. That would do much to calm my soul.

There is so much that is beyond our control- even when you feel you have done everything right- everything you're supposed to do to ensure a safe happy life for them. Everything the Father asks. There is so much that changes and so much we can't foresee- despite our faith and best efforts. The adversary is a very strong force and skillful at detecting our short comes, we must do much to ever be wary of his ever lingering presence and watchful eye.

 I'm sorry my babies. Everyday I pray that you may be spared much. Mortality is so hard. So much to learn so young. So much to endure so early. So many decisions, choices- pleasures and pain.   So much left undone. So much affected, so much changed. It can feel like Too much sometimes... which is why I'm so very grateful I've already been entrusted with and love you so much.

Update's and recent funny stories

Jax- he's doing so good! He got an advanced score on his ISAT's and so they are considering him for the Gifted & Talented program next year. He's still very Jaxson though- today for instance- I went to the post office with the two little ones and he and Eva stayed home to get their AR reading homework done--- so after about a half hour (or less) I came home and apparently he and Eva decided to sit on the porch to read because the weather is phenomenal- well after a minute or two he somehow ended up sitting or laying or something on Dave's motorbike that was parked on front yard and he somehow managed to tip it over on top of himself and he and Eva couldn't get it off of his leg- and at just the same time he see's his old first grade teacher driving by and yells to her to stop and help them... so she stops and helps him get out from under the bike and set it up right again and leaves. Crazy! apparently I got there just after she left. Pretty awful... I can only imagine what was going through her mind... oh well can't win them all!

Eva- She just performed in the Cinderella Ballet this past weekend and she was so cute! She did her part perfectly and really loved being on stage- the only thing she didn't love was all the gel I had to put in her hair in an attempt to keep it all in a bun! Also she's a little sad that she cut it all off because she got cast as Goldilocks in her school play :( oops- oh well the wig is hideous and scratchy but it's just for a few minutes....lol Oh- she's also getting fabulously tall- she's got these amazing legs that just go forever ( I'm pretty jealous and I'm pretty sure Elle will be eventually too baha! j/k- she is growing like crazy though- they all are!)

Shark-attack!- so he's just as funny and adorable as ever! Last night we were closing up the church after pack meeting and carter pulled the fire alarm! The lights start blinking and sirens screaming and a computer man was blaring over it all for everyone to evacuate the bldg. Silly boy! He had know idea- but I kept my cool even though I was humiliated- both our faces were bright red...it wouldn't have been so bad but the other ward in the bldg was having their big fundraiser dinner/ silent auction...oops! yeah we totally sabotaged it. We told them it was a false alarm but the noise was so terrible and disruptive that most of the people left and as if that wasn't enough then the fire/police departments showed up and had to ask all the embarrassing questions all over again. Yeah he's silly-- and do you know what he said when he was getting tucked in???--- "I 'fink' I 'yearned' my 'yesson'!" How could I ever be mad at him? It's really not quite fair;)

Elena- she is talking up a storm. She's like a little parrot she mimics everything we all do! Her most favorite thing to do right now though is yell at the kitten. ( oh yeah Dave bought a kitten a few months ago- named her Ginger) Elle loves to tell her to get down and stop it and no-no. Her other new thing is if you scold her for anything she will put on her pouty face and pretend to cry as she runs to hug you and say sorry- it's pretty funny cuz she fake inhales like she been sobbing and then she's off a hundred miles an hour to explore (take out and make a mess with) everything. She's so fun right now. What a funny little fearless princess! ( yes... princess- her

favorite outfit of choice is a diaper a dozen necklaces and few purses. she's cute)

 

Dave's doing great and has finals this week and part of next then he will have a one week break before summer internships start. The kids and I are super excited for that week! We are really proud of him.

 

My favorite quote today is  "Stick to a task til it sticks to you, beginners are many but finishers are few." I read it in Sister Hinckley's book a few days ago and just thought it was neat. :)

Brief Jamberry Intro

Jamberry Girls!

Eva and I love Jamberry nails! They are so fun and cute and affordable on a budget. Today I did it...I took the plunge and became my very own Jamberry Nails consultant. I ave my own website and everything. Pretty fun. People can order through me or though the site directly now. I mostly signed up because it's such a fun thing to do with Eva (and Elle eventually). We just had a mother /daughter nail party with some friends. We both love having cute toes in summer and fun nails all year so this was a great fit. If you haven't heard of them check it out http://www.clevertiffo.jamberrynails.net It's buy three sheets get one free right now. Each nail sheet costs $15 and does a mani/pedi for both me and Eva with enough left over to probably even do them both again. They stay on fingers 2-3 weeks and toes 6-8. Pretty awesome DIY and way cheaper than a salon- especially where Evy always wants to come along and I imagine Elle will soon too.

I need to blog more!

I have been a terrible blogger lately! I can't believe how time flies and it seems like someone was telling me that in the latter days time actually will be quickened. I definitely feel it. These kids keep growing and learning and teaching me every day and I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water sometimes. I often wonder where the time goes... then I recall the laundry mountains, the diapers, chasing children(mostly Elle), cleaning, dishes, more cleaning, my office work, PTA, Cub Scouts, working out and the occasional bit of sleep. It all just becomes a blur in the end and I know it won't always be this way-- but for now I love it and hope that I am not missing 'IT' because I am so busy getting the next 20 things done. I know eventually it's the 'IT' that I will miss- I'm sad that my babies grow up and keep growing! I look at pictures and think Where did it go??!?!? Just yesterday they were babies and now they're 9, almost 7, 4, and 17 months! It's amazing. I love being a mother and I love every bit of chaos that comes with it!

Malaysia!

View from the inside of the cave temple place they climbed to the top of.

Dave feeding the elephants

Dave learning to weave a very fine cloth at a local community center. They worked with lots of disabled adults and families there. (he really really loved that day) Also notice his shoes- no shoes allowed in any of the buildings!)

A little gal showing Dave the ropes.

The Petronas towers from Daves Hotel in Kuala Lumpur ( capital city of Malaysia)

Dave downtown with the towers at dark.

Towers at dusk. ( that middle bridge is actually a suspended walkway that connects the two towers- you can buy tickets just to go thru and see the amazing view, like the space needle- I guess).

Dave cooling off in a waterfall they climbed up.

It was in the low-mid 90's the entire time he was there (with 100% humidity- I imagine this felt amazing!)

this painting is made entirely out of rice. pretty neat. I think he watched them make it too but I'm not really sure :)

Pretty towers from the car as they drove past

They got to see and try tons and tons of new fruit that only is produced over there... this one is called hairy fruit.--Dave said it was good-kind of scary looking but tasty.

This is another new fruit- not sure what its name is.

Lots and lots of people everywhere he said and lots of elephants. They got to ride some too.

This little girl loved Dave! He would have brought both she and her sister home if he could! They were really sweet and they bonded with him. (I dont know for certain about these girls but many of the children he worked with had been rescued from himan trafficking :'( break your heart!

This is called a 'sand tray' it's just a container full of sand that they have lots of little figures/furniture etc for. They used it lots for therapy with the children. Sand tray therapy is very effective and is useful when there is language barriors- as well as to help children "show/describe" their feelings/ situations etc.

funny monkeys were everywhere he said! (like pigeons)

Dave had an awesome time on study abroad it was a very neat experience for him. He got to see amazing places, meet and work with many appreciative people and brought home lots of neat memories and pictures These are only a few. What an awesome overall experience, but we're so glad he's home!

2011 Year-end Recap/ 2012 Update

2012 has been great so far! We are feel super blessed and are doing well. Here is an update that we should have sent out with our Christmas cards but the printer was in rebellion. . .

As for our family we are doing quite well. We've had a busy year! Dave graduated last December with his Bachelors in Psychology and is now enrolled in his Masters of Counseling at ISU. He is a great student but with him working 30+ hours a week plus school we almost never saw him! In October he quit his job so he is now able to spend more time at home and we are all loving it:) In the beginning of December he left to attend a study abroad course in Malaysia. He was gone most of December and the first part of January. We missed him greatly but he is doing good things and we hope he will be able to get some good connections and references from his experiences there. Plus it was an amazing experience!

Jaxson was baptized this spring and is doing great. He just finished two seasons of flag football. He loved every minute of it and had excellent coaches who taught him lots and were very patient as well ;) He is excelling at school and scouts. He was a knight for Halloween because he "wanted a cool sword". Jax loves reading and playing with friends. He has recently discovered a love of LEGOS, 'really long' chapter books, and classic cars. He'll be playing soccer again this spring but he still loves learning and anything that has to to with fish, the ocean and of course, his favorite-SHARKS!

Eva is an aspiring artist and ballerina. She is a princess in every way. She loves reading and writing. This year she won an award for an essay she entered in the school reflections contest. She recently was a 'Cherub' in the city's production of the Nutcracker Ballet and was cast with "the big girls" she's the youngest in her group and loves all the attention they give her. Eva was Rapunzel for Halloween. She fit the part perfectly except her hair isn't "golden blonde". I bought her an inexpensive wig that daddy hated and forbid her to wear in public because it was so ugly compared to her own hair- (funny daddy! he's very protective of her long hair). Luckily, my friend does hair for a living and kindly offered to color Evy's hair for us. (She just got little highlights) She's loves to perform and is preparing to audition for the dance company's production of the Cinderella Ballet next week.

Sharkey is hilarious. Carter is my entertainment and my big helper. He is finally growing too! He had a checkup recently and has grown 3 1/2 inches and put on almost 3 pounds as well. (Hooray he hit the 10th percentile at almost 33 pounds!) He's very talkative and loves to race and crash cars as well as play with balls. He was a Shark for Halloween- which was simply adorable, and very fitting as well. Sharks counted down the days until his birthday this year because he was 'gonna be big-- and four.' He is a peace maker and loves to dote on Elena, they are great friends. He is going to play on a soccer team this spring and that should be pretty fun to watch!

Elena has had a big year as well. Unfortunately for me she's not really a baby anymore- we celebrated her first birthday in November. She's a busy baby with an energetic appetite for exploration. We are baby-proofing like crazy but I'm sure there will ever be such a thing as 'elena-proof'. She loves the kids and all animals. She's very spoiled and she loves it. We are all wrapped around her little fingers. Elle has a cuddly caring spirit and we call her the 'emotional barometer' of our home- if everyone's happy, she's happy- but if anyone's sad, she'll cry too, etc. We really enjoy having her as part of our family and I can't believe it's already been a year!

I've been going to the gym at six a.m. five days a week with my sister in law Mary. It's so fun! We laugh and laugh. I feel great all day and sleep better too. I'm also enjoying the funny things the kids do each day- and I can't believe how quickly they're growing. I'm the cub master of our ward, the Volunteer coordinator on the PTA Board of Directors and still manage the Office employees and accounts payable all of which keeps me plenty busy:) In my spare time I like finding fun projects/ crafts and games to play/do with the kids:)